family...

So for the past few months my dear great grandfather has been in a local nursing home. The staff has been great and they are all really professional. But, the past few days my grandpa has slipped into a coma...well four days to be exact, and he is not expected to pull out of this at all. He's 87 it's bound to be close to his time to depart. I've always been close to my grandfather, and I'm taking this very hard. I stayed with his all night last night holding his hand and yesterday my grandma had me do the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and that's tell him that it's ok to go. I was a wreck and to top it all of an extremely attractive guy had to point out that my mascara was smeared...thank you cap'n obvious. I just wish that my grandpa didn't have to suffer like this it's so hard to handle at 16, but I can cope, I just want him to be comfortable and not feel anymore pain. He doesn't deserve this he was a very good man.
It amuses me how holding his hand last night everytime I would start to doze off he would squeeze my hand and wake me up. The past week all I've don is think about how when I was younger we would sit in his shop and he'd smoke and I'd have candy cigarettes and we's sit and talk. I always loved to go and visit my grandpa, it was something that I always looked forward to. Him and I would always chase lizards together or snapping turtles. We just had so many good times. Even recently, when we decided to take him home for his birthday he decided he was going to go on a joyride in his golf cart. He guilted me into getting in with the line "your not like the rest of them, you trust me" It was too much for me to handle so I had to go with him...he ended up running me into two trees. I've never been so scared for my life. But, looking back on it I'd do it all over again, multiple times, because he's my grandfather and I love him so much and wish he didn't have to pass but right now it's what will be best for him. I shoulkd really go now I've probably bored you with my ramblings and I need to get back to my post by his side. I ask you to pray please.

-Marie